Byron said to be ready at 7 am for pick up which miraculously Franz and I obeyed. And we WEREN'T hungover. Thank Christ. We all were feeling good, despite the obvious sleepiness. The sun was shining, Byron had made a reservation for the ferry so we knew we were getting on and we were excited to see our old friends from VFS tie the knot and get drunk with them.
ACT 1 - cyclemania
As we near the entrance for Stanley Park to get to the Lion's Gate Bridge (we were leaving from the North Van ferry terminal Departure Bay), we see fucking cyclists everywhere and apparently the road is closed. So it's the annual cycle marathon to support Cops on bikes. And as we approach one of the traffic cops to ask where the detour is to get on the bridge he says "the bridge is closed". We're all, WTF. Seriously, LION'S GATE BRIDGE IS CLOSED FOR A CYCLE RACE? barhghghsdfherq4d3094d!!!!!!
So we start to high tail it for the other fucking bridge on the other side of town. Not before trying to get out of the maze that was downtown due to several other roads being closed. When we finally reached the other side of the water, we had 15 minutues to get to the ferry terminal or else our reservation would be invalid. Thinking we had plenty of time now that we had avoided random downtown cycle traffic, we hit our first traffic jam. At this point Byron looked like he was going to cut a bitch (he was driving). We got through the first one in about 10 minutes, so we now had 5 minutes. We hit ANOTHER one but thankfully escaped that one because the traffic girl who was letting cars through let us be the LAST car through before another wave of cyclists were coming off the bridge and blocking traffic. Thinking we were finally home free we got punk'd AGAIN by being stuck behind a car that was going like 40 km/h following the bikers who were ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY. That's right, only one lane was open on the highway. Like Christ, was the marathon going to Whistler? ugh. The car finally let us pass them and Byron guns it to the ferry, and I shit you not, 800m before the exit traffic comes to a halt because some bicyclist had injured himself so two ambulances were blocking both lanes. Alexis says "someone better have died", that's the point of frustration we had reached. Eric finally convinces Byron to act like an American and drive in the ditch to pass everyone. We made it to the ferry two minutes before our reservation was thrown out the window. On the ferry ride while enjoying the fresh air on the sun deck, Franz and I got attacked by an annoying wasp, the first of many.
ACT 2 - thy booze and wasps
We show up in Nanaimo which was looking gray and a tad chilly. We found our hotel and checked in. Eric had his own room but Byron, Franz, myself and Alexis were all in one with two double beds (that Byron insists were twins. They weren't). We all fell into the beds and started napping due the fact that we all work like crazy and if we don't get to sleep in on weekends to refuel we're pretty much zombies. Alexis insisted on her bed partner Franz to "spoon bitch!". Franz and I got up half an hour later because we both had the same craving: chhaaammmppaaaggnnneee. It was 11:15 am by then so we ventured out to downtown Nanaimo to find a liquor store. Observation: Nanaimo is not exciting. Sorry Wes and Krystal! We spent way too much time in the liquor store figuring out what we were craving beside champagne. Final purchases were two bottles of champers, a mickey of rum and a mickey of vodka. We got back and Byron and Alexis were still sleeping. We tried coaxing them out of bed but Alexis buried herself further into the blankets. It was 12:15 by then and that's when we discovered that the shuttle going to the wedding was leaving at 1:15, not 1:45 like we thought. This hightailed Alexis into the shower finally as Byron watched Franz and I do our usual when we get ready: ironing, drinking and being late.
We all made it downstairs in time and hoped onto the shuttle that took us to the lookout point by the ocean where the wedding would be. Like most guests, we all hadn't assumed it would be outside and most of us didn't have the warmest coats. By now the wind had picked up and we all prayed it wouldn't rain until the end of the ceremony. We also started getting attacked by random wasps. So many wasps. Very weird. The wedding started and Krystal looked GORGEOUS. Beautiful dress. It was all very adorable and loving, as weddings should be. We also found more 107ers, Tim Whyte who had forgotten his dress pants and was stuck wearing his suit jacket and dress shoes with khaki shorts (aka like a true assistant director would), and Brent with his lovely lady Melissa.
We took the bus back to the hotel and the whole time I was SERIOUSLY craving a rum and coke. So either I'm an alcoholic or you know... I'm an alcoholic. We got back and almost had 2 hours to kill before the reception started at the hotel so we cracked open the mickeys in our room and ordered room service. Nanaimo bar cheesecake and lemon meringue pie. Totally worth it. Byron went to the lounge to drink with Eric. He came back up at 5:30, half an hour after the reception started, to inform us that Wes and Krystal weren't there yet and we were doing Jagaer bombs in Eric's room. We head two floors down to Eric, who informs us that the honeymoon suite is like 3 doors down from him. We of course knock and Wes answers. We steal him for 2 seconds to do shots with us which was awesome. I then took the elevator down to the reception with both Kyrstal and Wes and their wedding party which was pretty cool actually. Felt VIP.
The reception started and we all quickly realized we were all drunker then most. Obviously, we were the film school table. Table number 12. The MC made an announcement asking friends and family to say something if they'd like, so I sauntered over and asked if I could make a short shout out from all of us at table 12. MC seemed excited cause not many people there knew about Wes and his film school days. Needless to say, after more drinks, dinner and all the emotional and perfect speeches made from the wedding party, this is when the MC says "any other people?" which was kind of awkward but he was starring at me so before I knew it I was putting my hand up and awkwardly walking up there realizing I had to make a speech on the spot instead of a "congrats from table 12" shout out I had originally planned..... so yeah.... spontaneous speech was 65% successful. I managed to only ramble under 5 minutes but apparently I said "film school" like 30 times. Could have gone worse though. And people clapped so yay? The rest of the night was spectacular with some great dancing and singing from Wes. Eric was also on a rampage to drink all of the Rye supply. We put a card on him in case we lost him.
Around 11 pm, after almost 10 hours of drinking, we had abused most of the free drinks tickets so there was only one thing left to do, CASINO TIME!!! Alexis, Byron and Eric went upstairs to go to sleep but Byron, myself, Brent and Melissa decided to go explore. We started walking to the casino with a stop at the local club after getting coaxed in by the bouncer/promotor (???). We came in and immediately felt everyone in the room starring at us in our dress clothes. I swear we were half expecting someone to be like "what are you city folk doing here?!". Byron ordered a round of shots which were blue and sticky sweet. Because I was hypnotized by watching a young gay fellow in a skin tight dress grinding with an old dude who had a beer belly, trucker hat and motorcycling shirt on, I wasn't watching when I slid my empty shot glass across the bar so it banged against two others and fell to the floor breaking. Byron smartly rounded us up and said "lets get the fuck outta here". We got to the casino where we quickly lost Melissa and Byron, who know how to gamble. Brent and I know how to look pretty and drink. So first we took pictures of myself pulling a Marilyn Monroe over a floor vent, but the security guy threatened to take my camera away cause no pictures were allowed. We went to the bar and our conversation went something like this:
Brent: okay what are we drinking?
Julia: hmm what are we drinking?
Worker: we don't serve alcohol here.
Brent and Julia: .....
Julia: then we shall be leaving.
We find Byron and inform him of our situation but he was winning at the blackjack table so he didn't wanna leave. Byron kept mumbling to the dealer either "adrian you're killing me" or "adrian I love you" to the indifferent stares of the older Nanaimo regulars who were wondering who the fuck let these kids in the casino. Byron kept handing me his winning chips to hold on to which the security guy did NOT appreciate. Apparently that's not allowed in Nanaimo. Byron pulled his second "lets get the fuck outta here" and grabbed his 100$ winnings. We went back to the hotel in the rain and found the last maybe 8 people dancing with Krystal and Wes in the reception hall so we hung out a bit with them until we finally decided to call it a night.
ACT 3 - it's the granola!
We all wake up to Byron's annoying as fuck alarm clock and the wake up call that Byron and I thought was a brilliant idea last night. It's about 8:30 am and we have to make the 10:30 am ferry. We all silently get our stuff together and head down to the lounge to wait for Eric. Who comes down hungover as shit and loudly declares "I don't want it!" after Alexis tries to give him his leftover bottle of rye he had from last night. We went to a coffee shop that was open for coffee and carbs. Alexis took it one step further and went healthy with yogurt and granola cup. We get to the ferry terminal and with Eric's head leaning out the window in the front with Byron, and myself, Franz and Alexis who was eating her granola in the back, we began to wait.
Eric: Alexis, there is a wasp beside your head.
Alexis: huh?
Julia: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Byron: AHHH!!!!!
Franz: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Eric: IT'S THE GRANOLA!!!!!
Everyone PILES out of the car in 0.2 seconds while Alexis remains seated and keeps eating. We managed to chase away the wasp and needless to say, we all sat in the car with the windows closed after that. Fucking wasps. Also Eric summed up the night with "apparently I was trying to drink my body weight in Crown Royal". And he did.
END OF STORY
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