hollerz!

we did not fail, for once. between buying a christmas tree, a rousing game of pictionary with caely-ann, drinking with sean, thea, tara and moving franz's new bed (where we managed to create a hole in our wall...) we actually filmed episode 3! now the magic of editing starts, but we thought we'd give you a sneak peak to some of our ramblings that won't make the final cut. cuz it's funnnnyyyyyy. enjoy! 

if for some reason it says unavailable, go here!

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7267582317690539631

ta!

julia gulia

wurd.

apparently in the last year the following things have started to epically detoriate:

- my speaking skills

- my typing skills

- my logic skills

- my memory

emphasis on my MEMORY. well and my grammar skills. see following proof in the facebook message i sent a couple of days ago when trying to set up a meeting:

what is the MATTER with me? 

anyways, back to my memory. throughout the last week i have almost forgotten every social plan i've made, thus overlapping several things at once and then desperately trying to fit them all in. last night at 10:30 pm as i was warming up my freezing attic room with my trusty/crappy space heater and getting my pj's on, i finally decide to check my cell that's been in my purse all evening. thus i find the 4 missed calls and 3 voicemails left by some good buddies of mine inquiring where i was. ah yes, steve's birthday that i said i would attend. alrighty then, pj's off, jeans on, space heater off, in the cab i go downtown. 

the one thing i have to say about the cab ride is this conversation:

"so you work in the film industry or something?"

me flustered "what? uh - no - I mean yes - how - do i know you?"

"no no it's just you people are always rushing off to things at night, why you always rushing?"

apparently "us people" in the film industry are a race. so i get to "wings' downtown, a lovely sports bar on granville and davie that us class 107 folk used to hang at back in da film skool dayz. also the place of choice for me and byron to slam 3 rum and cokes each before going to a film premiere at noon. so steve, brian and dave are a couple pitchers and whiskey and sours in cause you know, they've been there since 7 pm, the original plan. after a beer it's time for the birthday boy to see some boobs, where better than the penthouse? it's poon watch time.

the penthouse is a lovely establishment where one can see a variety of strippers. our selection tonight was a girl with no boobs dancing in a snow bunny ensemble, a dead ringer for parker posey with blonde hair and THE.WORST.STRIPPER.EVER.

so parker posey is all sorts of hawt so brian decides this will be the lady to give birthday boy his own private dance. so as steve is taken away, dave brian and i toast to our lap dance succes when the WORST.STRIPPER.EVER takes the stage.

37.beer gut.tan lines.awkward pole dancing.

she looked like donatella:

i shit you not. dave utters "i can't watch this" so we avert our eyes and attempt conversation. steve comes back looking dazed and informs us he got a hand job. alright, this party is over. all in all, i give this random thursday night outing a 7.5/10

in other news:

that's all for now. see you mofos around. we got some ep 3 filming done last weekend, despite our inappropriate drinking that almost completely derailed us from achieving anything. we hope to complete filming this weekend.

ta!

julia gulia

ama - awesomely mediocre awards

american music awards. you are so awesomely lame. every year franz and i rejoice over the ama's. the performances always blow hard, there are tech errors throughout the whole show, and jimmy kimmel looks like he's sleeping while he hosts.

thus, we watch every second of it to make sure we don't miss any of the events mentioned above. last night we were not disappointed. highlights included:

- nickelback showing the world that they are officially the most awkward presenters ever.

- scott weiland high as a kite stumbling through his words to announce Pink.

- jordin sparks attempting to be cute and charming and FAILING.

- new kids on the block performing, reminding us they are 50.

- miley cyrus winning for best role model as her just turned 16 year old ass gyrates on the stage and she brushes her poon.

- coldplay unleashing thousands of paper thingies to enhance their performance, which prompted chris martin to roll around in it.

- jonas brothers accepting an award while a random stage hand walks into the shot and quickly dispersers.

- a pussycat doll member that is not Nicole Shwerz - whatever her last name is, struggling to take off her coat during their performance, but failing.

- kanye west yet again basically saying he's GOD on stage and ranting some more about random topics that make him sound like a douche.

here are the 2008 ama's in 1 MINUTE for your viewing pleasure.

Here's the most painful thing you will ever watch. we still love you scott weiland. please get help.

and my all time fave ama moment from last year, when douche bag from jonas brothers falls during the first 20 seconds of his performance. on glass. wearing a white suit. which he later bleeds on from his cut hand.

If I could cry...

Annie Lennox performed this song last night at the AMAs and proved that none of the other performers can capture an audience like her. Although I didn't find the AMA performance here is the one she did at Live 8. Have your box of kleenex ready.

Cougars, Whiskey and Blues

Me and Julia have the awful habit of getting ridiculously obliterated the night before important events. This time it was last Friday before we were set to shoot the 3rd episode of the Franz and Julia show. Of course the original plan was to get some drinks and discuss the layout of the episode but instead the night took on a life of it's own...

It all started with the usual Friday drinking party at work complete with awkward sexually charged speeches from our company CEO's and random appearances from reality t.v show hosts. I had to work late and Julia ended up hanging out with her film school friends Brian and Steve. Needless to say the promise of free booze courtesy of Julia led me to Brian's house (after stopping by Wendy's for a quick burger) where I found everyone wasted on the futon watching an uber soft core porno. After everyone was sufficiently disappointed and frustrated at the lame episode of Red Shoe Diaries we decided to pile into an empty bus that led us to "The Yale" which I had not been to yet.

The Yale is a single man's dream. Well. If you like loose 40+ year old women. After paying insane cover I fend off the hoards of cougars and make my way to the stage where Julia Steve and Brian are anxiously awaiting the house band "Brick House" which was apparently a huge thing for their class. As soon as I get there Julia informs me that she has a tab going. Yes. 2 double crown on the rocks and tequila shots later I am on the dance floor giving the wrong idea to a dozen over the hill ladies and avoiding the leftover ice from some guy's drink that Steve smashed on the ground. This went on for a while until we all ended up at the bar taking advantage of the all mighty tab along with the aboriginal wedding party that apparently decided that shady bars with hookers asking for money outside is a good venue for a reception. The lights turned on, the band stopped playing and it was time to step out into friday Granville Street gloriousness. 

Steve got his picture taken with two drunk skanky chicks, we lost Brian at a pizza place and made our way to Denny's. Julia had never been to Denny's. I know you are foreign but come on. We got there and ordered breakfast. Me and Steve decided to have shakes after Julia commented on how bad an idea this was. Brian showed up and it was a merry old time. Before Diana came over to serve us. Diana is this horrible waitress from hell at Denny's who came straight out of the trailer park in northern alberta and brought her mullet with her. After yelling at us not to bother her when she was carrying food and when I asked why my chocolate shake was more expensive than Steve's oreo shake (seriously) we left. Brian was already gone because he had 2 pieces of Pizza beforehand and decided to order the lumberjack breakfast so we figure he might still be puking over Granville Street bridge.

We got home at 5 in the morning and went to bed. The milk shake was a horrible idea. 10 minutes later it was in the toilet. I'll spare you the messy details. And the 20 minute cleanup. 

The next day me and Julia decided to re arrange heavy furniture in our living room. Then failed at the Franz and Julia Show. Thankfully I didn't end up with someone's mom in my bed.

put a ring on it

happy lets get our drank on friday.

for those not familiar with beyonce's new single "Single Ladies (put a ring on it), watch a few seconds of it.

why should you care? because it prompted some hilarious parodies that had me laughing so much at work that 3 people came over to see what i was cackling about. did i just write cackling? yes, yes i did. happy random word friday!

this guy is my hero:

this guy is all sorts of "wow"

and now the BEST.THING.EVER, proof that justin timberlake needs to be a full time SNL cast member. 

p.s JT dump jessica biel and call me. i'll be a single lady for you. wink wink hubba hubba

on that note, episode 3 will commence filming this weekend. who's excited? it's been a year. franz and i are losers with lives. we'll try to make episode 3 as ridiculous as possible to make up for it.

ta!

julia gulia

daily dose of lol

and now for your daily dose of 'this is retarded but why am i laughing'?

you're welcome.

this is amazing:

ta!

julia gulia

tv life lessons

I have plenty of guilty pleasure shows. i obsess over so you think you can dance to the point where i actually sit through Leah Miller's disastrous hosting "talents" on so you think you can dance canada.

 

i still watch heroes even though plenty of people tell me it's a rip off of every comic book ever made, the plot makes no sense and milo venti-how do you spell his last name can't act.

that being said, my number one guilty pleasure show is hands down gossip girl. it's taught me so many things. like:

- having sex with your best friend's boyfriend on a bar stool at some wedding and then running away in said boyfriend's dress shirt and nothing else to some hotel room party to do coke and then kill a dude is okay, a year at boarding school will help you and everyone forget.

- losing your virginity in a limo after you did a strip tease at a burlesque bar at 17 is not slutty.

- drinking at bars every night when you're 17 is easy in the USA.

- smoking pot in the middle of central park is also no big deal, everyone is doing it!

- wearing a sexy night slip, aka lingerie, to go out and play in the leaves with your boyfriend is "carefree", not inappropriate. or really weird.

but my number one life lesson comes from rufus, aka the cool Sandy Cohen dad. if you're ever in an awkward situation, go hunting for pecans!

why does this make me laugh so hard? maybe it reminds me of franz.

ta!

julia gulia

yuz in my furst post

welcome. as penelope cruz likes to say 'LETS HAVE SOME FUCKING FUN'.

yes you now may have a daily dose of franz and julia. whether we want to share something particularly funny from our everyday lives, from the tv shows and movies we watch, or even the books we read (me fail english? that's unpossible!) or just some random tidbit of info we feel you need to know, you will find it here. and it'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, it'll make you go franz and julia are retarded where do they have the time to do this between work, sleeping, drinking at the morrissey, scheming about film ideas, franz trying to be a music agent and julia attempting to break back into the dance world.

BUT WE DO HAVE TIME. for you. to waste at work, to giggle at when you come home at night, or just because you like us and need to know about random things.

Of course we will continue filming our Franz and Julia Show episodes, we're actually filming episode 3 this weekend. I know, I just peed a little in my pants as well. Check our youtube channel for past episodes and awesome goodies, like this long forgotten gem of us dancing after filming and forgetting about the camera still rolling on top our stereo. 

So bookmark this page and have fun. we will.