best-worst may.29.2009

back in 2006 when myspace was still somewhat relevant, i apparently used their blog function in my profile. this week jeremy informed me that i'm sending spam via my myspace account and that it's probably been hacked. my reactions were as follows:

myspace?

i still have an account there?

oh my god when was the last time i logged in...

holy shit i gotta go check out my profile.

oh god my profile pic was from my vegas trip 2007 with thea!

so i go to close my account, so hopefully my hacker stops sending spam, but then it gives me the ominous "WE WILL DELETE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PROFILE" and suddenly a wave of nostalgia came over me. 

i recall signing up for myspace back in 2005 first month of film school. my class was in the computer lab (aka mac lab) and dillon wyant told me to sign up to myspace. i thought i was pretty in tune with the net but i had no idea what the hell he was talking about. pretty soon everyone in my class was hooked and we all nerdly (that's not a word) left each other messages while we were in the same room. as i browsed through my old profile that now lays in dust i basically saw my year of film school. my blog entries were mostly about the first film i directed (epic ranting. problems that seem impossible now, i reread and laugh at myself thinking, why didn't i just do this? guess you do grow wiser with age. christ i was 19), and some brief entries involving the barely memorable months i worked at Chapters after i graduated and working at BoDog, my first paying industry job. then it stopped. probably cause drew and chelsea barrie kept telling me to join facebook.

so i saved my blog entries in word and deleted my myspace account. i mostly felt nostalgic for my 19 year old film student life, being so broke that i would steal peanut butter packets and eat them for lunch, drinking every fucking night, and not logging into some social networking site every couple of hours to see what my friends are up to. no i would talk to them. 

but then i can't sit here and complain about "how we don't communicate anymore outside facebook". cause i would just text with my brand spankin' new cell phone that i never got tired of playing with, or log into myspace. same thing, just updated. so next time you feel guilty for using facebook to check in with your friends, don't. it's 2009. what's done is done. 

one thing i found amusing in my old blog post of years back, was a "best of, worst of". apparently in 2006 the best was watching bring it on again with sean and the worst was editing a 48 hour film festival while sick. 

calling it now, new weekly Friday post while be best and worst.

Best and Worst week of May 29th 2009.

Worst

- biking up extreme hills for 25 blocks.

- monday morning rainfest.

- craving chocolate while watching 2 hour episode of so you think you can dance but being too lazy to go to the store.

- starring at a huge excel sheet all day and typing in timecode.

- hearing noisy drunk chicks at the bottom of your window puking at 4 am.

Best

- biking down said hill for 25 blocks at twilight, heading to animal collective concert.

- so you think you can dance being back in my life on a weekly basis.

- my jazz teacher making us do amazing broadway choreography. my jazz hands were in full effect.

- Toxic cover by Yael Naim.

- beer friday at work starting at 4:30 pm

- revenue canada realizing their idiots and sending me a letter basically saying "ignore last letter we sent you about owing us money, we see that we cashed that cheque in february..."

- lisztomania by phoenix, someone brilliantly recognized that this was an 80's homage so they made a brilliant brat pack homage to it. who wants to learn how to 80's dance with me? if this video doesn't put you in a good mood or make you wanna dance, you're dead to me.

ta!

julia gulia

vitamin T

my weekend was pretty solid. it felt like one of the first real summer weekends of 2009. i love when vancouver wakes up from it's rainy winter/spring slump and graces us with it's clear skies, mountains and ocean. also all the hot chicks come out wearing their best tight lululemon garb and parade around english bay on their roller skates and bikes for male viewing pleasure. and thus, all the men in vancouver are content again.

so i started my weekend by sleeping in. which is always a +. i made a giant batch of delicious margaritas and put it in franz's nalgene water bottle and then we put on our beach gear, hoped onto our bikes and headed to jericho beach. seriously, that first bike ride in shorts, flip flops, bikini and tank top is G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S. we passed through our old hood, waved to our former humble home le 2905 and had a moment of "ohmygod i miss this neighborhood".

we scoped out a rad sandy spot and proceeded to down our giant margarita. during suntanning, some smart ass bird decided to relieve himself of something nasty he ate earlier, which landed perfectly as one giant brown, gooey, liquidy mess on my tank top. thankfully not on my skin. i proceeded to shed said tank top and rock my bikini top... and then washing my shirt like a loser in the ocean. after 4 hours of lying in the sun, i had yet to tan or burn for that matter. fucking pale ass german skin.

franz and i headed back home before stopping at our favorite.place.ever, elwoods. i put my bike helmet on the bar which prompted some dude to ask "so what do you ride?" and i awkwardly and confused replied "i'm riding a bike", which made our fave bar gal lizzy laugh out loud. we had two coronas and lazily rode back home. 

we landed on the couch and decided to pop in my new season 1 of roswell on dvd that i got for 20$ at future shop. fuck i love re-watching series i was obsessed with as a teen. they are so mediocre now but still amusing. at around 10 pm we got our asses of the couch to join dan and his friends at a little house get together. first summer night bike ride in t-shirt with a backpack full of beer? G-L-O-R-I-O-U-S.

sunday prompted more sleeping in, more roswell and more vitamin T - aka tequila. dan came over and we made some delicious bison burgers and then got on our bikes to drink at mike's in prep for ANIMAL COLLECTIVE CONCERT. fuck yes. riding to mike's was torture, all up hill for 25 blocks. fuck vancouver and your hills. every bike ride is a workout i swear to god. we got tipsy at mike's with peter and lindsey. mike has a swank basement suite. dan and i's bike ride downtown to the commodore was AWESOME. beautiful clear night, all downhill and perfect temperature.

animal collective. i love thee. i know a lot people don't get it, that's fine. but some people like me, just do. and man do we get into it. there's something about finding that one consistent beat in their songs and then appreciating and getting elated by all the different layers they add. it's beautiful and invigorating. for easy listening to try and get into it, check out "the purple bottle" and "summertime clothes". i discovered them in 2005 from le cody bown. he played me "we tigers" and i was hooked. we used to listen to animal collective 24/7 and write crazy shit. it was our film school soundtrack. we first saw them at the commodore in 2007 (with my mouth wired shut from my accident no less...)

animal collective consist mostly of Avery Tare, Panda Bear and Geologist. Their live shows are super high energy and you never wanna stop dancing, and they make dreamy musical intervals between every song so the music never stops. it's like one giant musical trip that doesn't stop for an hour and a half. i started off by the side of the stage with dan and mike to get a good view but these two tall dudes stood in front of me and REFUSED TO MOVE once animal collective started. dude, you're at an ac show, fucking dance. so i did something i swore to never do in concerts cause it's an asshole thing to do, i pushed my way to the middle of the front of the stage. seriously, i wanna get into this with my fellow ac fans. which i did. we were all dancing and jumping around, so satisfying. i also made friends with the two hilarious dudes in front of me. see conversation:

dude 1: ah man i can't wait until they play brother sport!
dude 2: yo they already played that.
dude 2: what?!!! how did i miss that?! HOW?!
dude 1: it was like the second song dude!
me: they didn't play brother sport yet.
dude 2: they didn't?!
me: yeah that was summertime clothes.

cue animal collective playing brother sport and all of us rejoicing, i thought dude 2 would keel over in joy.

also i love panda bear so much. his singing voice is insane. he takes it to a whole new level. and when he turns to the drum set beside him and starts going ape shit on it during songs i lose it. i love it so much. i love seeing people going through different instruments. he does it so well.

animal collective. always a pleasure. 10/10

p.s also on my way back, i crossed the granville street bridge with dan. on my bike. first time since the accident. i made it. without freaking out and getting off my bike. HOLLERZ!

p.p.s y'all need to check out the new cool kids tunes. ugh i love these guys. summer jam.

ta!

julia gulia

used to be what? - music

saturday. downtown vancouver. commodore. the kills.

franz and i decided to head to the kills show. see audio to get acquainted if you are not aware yet of this amazing band.

What New York Used To Be - The Kills

after some pre-drinking at the newly renovated morrissey, where we had very boozy doubles (to the point where my rum and coke was transparent) and some dude was like "yo can you put on the kills, we're going to the show!" to the not impressed waitress, we headed to the commodore. some chick found my 10$ payless shoes that i stole from my mom "adorable", which she proceeded to tell me outside. and then she proceeded to show us pictures of eagles she took pictures of. yup. 

we headed on in and franz starred in awe at one of vancouver's finest music venues. it was his first time there. then we both concluded that vancouver needs more music clubs so look for our bar that shall open 2015.

the first band came on which prompted me to laugh during the first song. they were called the horrors and they were channeling the cure and post-punk to emo perfection. i swear it was like we were transported to some dingy club in new york circa 1987. the bassist had this shtick where all he did was stare at the crowd when he wasn't playing. by the end of it i was strangely attracted to him. after some tequila shots we dwelled closer to the stage where we witnessed the 60 pound singer's mic fail and a bunch of roadies panicking to get him a new one. mostly due to the tequila, franz and i ended up enjoying these lads. 6.5/10

afterwards came the dreaded half hour wait in the crowd. we ventured further into the middle and closer to the stage so we had full view of the kills. two drunk chicks were in front of us, one with big jugs. since she was short, we had prime view. drunk franz claims "i'm gonna make out with this chick". i told him to do it while they played the song sour cherry. 5 minutes before they hit the stage i started getting good old concert butterflies. there's nothing like the anticipation of seeing a band live. i've been digging the kills A LOT these last few months and their latest album Midnight Bloom has been constantly playing in my ipod.

little background info. the kills are alison mosshart and jamie hince. they were in separate bands but met each other through a chance accident when jamie's band was practicing in the hotel room above hers. since she lived in florida and he was in england, they'd send each other tapes back and forth until alison finally realized that was stupid and moved to london. the rest is history. don't let the one girl and one dude cliche fool you, they ain't like the white stripes. oh and jamie is dating kate moss. ah the old rock star dating a model, that's one cliche i hope never goes out of style.

they came onto stage and damn, these two deliver. backed by pre-recorded drum and bass, the two opt to solely concentrate on rocking out with their guitars and same amazing vocal skills. seriously, jamie hince's voice is like melted dark chocolate, so sexy and rich. such a great contrast to alison's. they sound awesome together. alison is a hell of a performer, girl feels every last word that comes out of her mouth. but it's never over-dramatic or theatrical. just raw. and awesome. they have ridiculous chemistry. musically and sexually. during "last day of magic" they had their mic turned to each other for a more intimate experience, and the brief face touches alison was doing to jamie were loaded with secrets we'll never know of. or she was super trashed and felt like it was a good idea at the time. we'll never know! they played sour cherry as their third song, so franz didn't have enough build up to make out with drunk chick, and then he lost his chance completely when she was too wasted to enjoy the rest of the show and left by the fourth song.

they performed two covers, crazy by patsy cline and i put a spell on you by screamin' jay hawkins. crazy was uber sexy and alison killed the vocals, very beautiful. i put a spell on you was during their encore, very punky and fun, brought the house down. the show ended with them standing on the speakers almost ready to fall into crowd, basking in the huge cheers from the crowd begging for the show not to end. but sadly it did. 

i wish they would have played what new york used to be, but they played goodnight, another bad morning so i'm extremely content.

sexy, fun, raw - 9\10. come back soon please!

TV respects me. It laughs with me. not at me.

i'm a tv whore. i love tv. i'm aware there's better things to do like ride a bike or read. whatever. its 2009. since it's season finale week, every show i adore has been bringing their A game, which means i've been reminiscing about WHY i tune into these certain shows every week. there's a bunch of different reason but today i will entertain you with my TOP FAVE CHARACTERS ON TV! rejoice in my ramblings. let us begin!

Eddie and Lou (The Simpsons)

eddie and lou have the best underrated scenes, hands down. the simpsons have embraced all the characters in the town and given them the limelight at one point in the series, but eddie and lou still just pop up randomly with amazing one liners. they also were in one of the greatest pulp fiction parodies of all time. i love them, and for some reason they crack me up more than anyone else, and i'm a die hard simpsons fan (suck it family guy).

Ina Gardner (The Barefoot Contessa)

this bitch is fierce and the HBIC (head bitch in charge) on the food network. she has this fabulous house in the hamptons where everyone worships her and she feeds her geeky husband to his satisfaction. her fierceness is only amplified by the fact that she makes no apologies for cooking straight up fatty foods. her first line is always "a stick of butter" for ANY recipe. even her salad dressing. get it gurl. I finally worked up the balls to make one of her recipes and it was delicious.

Alex and Meredith (Grey's Anatomy)

these 2 are extreme damaged goods. this show is a constant soap opera of ridiculousness (but I still love it, fml). Alex and Meredith are no exception. they are probably the most fucked up in the cast. Alex had an abusive father and had to take care of his crazy depressed mother and every chick he dated ended up crazy. his first years as in intern he was a grade A sexist asshole. but now he's one of the best residents and is slowly swallowing asshole tendencies. now he's just bad ass. Meredith had a suicidal mother who paid no attention to her growing up, opting for an affair and pushing her husband away, leaving Mer fatherless. she was super depressed and semi-alcholic as an intern, but now has gotten ahold of her demons. after 5 seasons, these 2 are now the most grounded, and their rare scenes as friends show they have a deeper connection because of their pasts and cause of how they both deal with shitty situations. they only seem to be honest with each other and no one else. thus making their scenes some of the more realistic of the entire series.

Mark Greene (E.R)

the golden days of e.r, season 1-5 had geeky but adorable mark greene in the spot light. we met him in the pilot episode as the level headed and talented chief resident. with the heart of gold of course. mark greene was amazing. not only was he an amazing mentor and teacher to his interns, but he was well respected out of the whole hospital staff. although his marriage crumpled from his work alcoholic tendencies and he developed an addiction to pain killers at one point, mark greene was the hero of the E.R. I dare you not to love him. when he died in season 8 of a brain tumor, it was one of the finest/saddest hours of television. one of the nurses said it best in later seasons, years after his departure "forget superman, give me mark greene". amen.

Eric Van Der Woodsen (Gossip Girl)

in the retardness that is gossip girl (AMAZING RETARDNESS), is the shamefully underused and under-appreciated erik, younger brother of hot bitch and star of the show, serena. when everyone is going batshit crazy or being ridiculous, erik appears out of nowhere and sums everything up and puts them in their place with one line. examples:

[Eric walks in on his mom and Rufus kissing] I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Please try to remember that.

 

Desmond (Lost)

be still my heart. there's not much to say about desmond except that:

- he looks fabulous when drunk and sun burnt on an island.

- his accent is amazing.

- any episode that centers around him are always critically acclaimed.

- he's just awesome.

there's no other explanation. those who know, know.

Richard Alpert (Lost)

Couldn't leave out Richard if i'm talking about Lost. HBIC of the island. Screw Locke, Ben or even Jacob. this dude knows what's up. we know nothing about him except that he's been on the island forever, he has great fashion sense, his eyelashes are inexplicably well groomed and he looks like he wears permanent eye liner, oh and he's ageless. seriously this dude is like 200 yet he looks like a prime time 40 year old smooth talking hottie. note to lost writers - season 6 needs more alpert and his back story. oh and him kicking someone's ass. i know he has ninja skills.

Nigel Lythgoe (SYTYCD)

i love so you think you can dance. a lot. i piss of my friends talking about it. i piss off dan when i watch RERUNS of it. yes, reruns of a reality tv show. i keep my fave dances as videos on my ipod. i'm lame. whatever. reality tv show judges are usually useless and annoying, but nigel lythgoe takes it to a whole new level. first he thinks he's some kind of GOD for creating american idol and the NUMBER 1 DANCE SHOW ON TV *said in annoying host voice*. but his comments are amazing cause a) he's a perv who tells all the hot girls on the show they look amazing in his creepy way b) he puts down other judges c) he actually knows what he's talking about being a former broadway dancer and choreographer. what's that nigel? oh they did a jazz walk instead of a chassé, gotcha.

Beaver (Greek)

oh greek, you are the oc and undeclared in one hilariously entertaining and smartly written package. this random abc family show about frats and sororities in college has a bunch of really awesome characters, but none stand out more than beaver. cappie, the president of KTT is a gem and has some of the best one liners i've ever heard, but his best friend and side kick Beaver really one ups him sometimes with scenes like this:

Billy Riggins (Friday Night Lights

for those who don't watch FNL, shame on you. you are missing out on truly amazing television. yes it's about football, but you don't have to be a fan at all to appreciate this show. the brilliance that is kyle chandler as "coach" was going to be on this list, seriously why does this man not have an emmy? but when i think about it, billy riggins is truly one of my faves. fan favorite tim riggins was abandoned by both parents, so his older brother billy is his caretaker. these 2 boys live a life of beer and girls. and it's amazing. billy is a grade A screw up, and how he somehow manages to take care of tim is incredible. and although he's a dick sometimes, his genuine love for his brother and hope he doesn't follow the same path he did is super endearing. plus their bonding scenes are superb. or when billy walks around in his underwear hungover.

Cassie (Skins)

we unfortunately don't get this brilliant TV show from the UK, but download it if you have the chance. Mostly about a pack of 16 year old who are constantly on drugs and messing up their lives, Cassie stands out with her whimsical lifestyle. she's anorexic and in love with a boy who doesn't even realize it. classic 16 year old. but the actress brings a haunting realism to her role, keeping it light and airy when playing her space cadet ditzy blonde role, but reeling you in when she's alone and starving herself. Brilliant. or as cassie would say "oh wow, lovely".

Everyone in My Boys

I finish this off with a group ensemble, because no one can be singled out in this amazing show. Add this to the under-appreciated list x100. PJ plays a tomboy type chick, but hot of course, who's 4 best friends are all dudes, and add her brother in there, the brilliant jim gaffigan. basically the show is a half hour comedy about their lives, mostly them playing poker or hanging out at the pub. the writing is ridiculous, i genuinely laugh every show. the chemistry between everyone is undeniable. i recommend you check it out so you can enjoy it as much as i do :) a handy guide:

twatlight.

I'm never one to bash a movie without having actually seen it, therefore no longer feeling comfortable saying "twilight sucks" without having actually seen it or even opened the book, I finally sat down and watched the damn thing.

Before Rant Intro

okay everyone knows i'm a hardcore harry potter fan, thus a lot of people assume i'm into twilight. wrong. i have never in my life opened the book. i have seen the cover, it wasn't until the movie came out and you started seeing posters for it fucking everywhere and i figured out it was about vampires. this still did not make me want to run out and read the fucking book. yes there has been a void in my life after harry potter ended, no longer do i count down the months for the next book to come out, no longer do i start arguments with people over why harry should have made out with hermione (that's a lie). i could have easily joined into this twilight fandom which seems to be spreading like an epidimic, yet nothing drew me to it. because it's STUPID. everything about it, is STUPID. there was a small hope in me that maybe i was wrong, maybe the movie would throughly entertain me and i would finally get roped into the saga and read the books. but alas, the movie only proved FURTHER that the series is overrated, overdramatic and STUPID.

Official Rant

so i got my twizzlers, i'm in my bed, i'm ready to watch this monstrosity and finally be able to bash it with no guilt whatsoever. and we begin. 

so apparently this average looking chick named bella has moved back with her dad to one of the rainiest places in the USA, Forks. it's all emo cause she's like, ohmygodimissmymom and the dad is like, ohmygodihaveadaughter. so she sulks to her first day of school where, since it's a small town, all the boys are like, whoahotnewgirl, which granted the cinematographer does film her beautifully to make us believe she's supposed to be uber precious, pretty, mysterious.

anyways, to make the school kids more interesting we get introduced to a stereotypical asian character who's flamboyantly gay but acts like he has a crush on this bella, which proves to be awkward and hilarious. this guy has no plot but i just thought it was funny and one of the only few highlights in this pile of shit. so they're eating lunch and these weird ass people walk in and the popular girl is all like "oh my god those are The Cullens, they are the prettiest, richest, and weirdest people in town" and i'm all like, they're supposed to be the PRETTIEST?? have you seen these people?!!!! they could have cast more attractive people. actually scratch that, they DID but hair and make up made them look ridiculous.

so the last one to walk in is of course our hero, Edward Cullen, played by heartthrob of the moment Robert Pattison, who apparently caused a riot when making an apperance at an autograph session at some mall where 5000 preteens showed up.

really? i mean he's cute but 5000 person riot? simmer down girls. also, this is supposed to be the infamous sexy vampire that brings all the mortal girls to their knees? will arnett say it for me... COME ON.

where was i? right, so bella is all flustered by his presence, and even more so when she enters biology class and discovers they are lab partners. and now ladies and gentlemen, the most amazing scene you will ever see. and by amazing i mean, the most ridiculous what the fuck is going on here and why can't these people act oh my god this movie SUCKS.

apparently he can't handle his hunger for her cause her blood smells so good. epic hilarity. proven by this gif, clickity click!

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

right, so the plot of this whole movie is that edward and bella fall epically in love (which happens over the span of 3 days). oh and bella makes friends with this guy, who also could be cute if hair and make up hadn't attacked him with a horrendous wig.

he has a hard on like every other dude for bella. 

so then bella finally figures out edward is a sexy vampire. my interpretation of the scene:

bella - i'm not afraid of you, do me. 

edward - no i'm a monster don't look at me! 

bella - but wait, aren't you supposed to be able to come out only at night?

edward - haha silly mortal stop reading anne rice. 

so apparently in twilight world, vampires can be outside as long as there's no sun, because in sunlight they reveal WHO THEY TRULY ARE. aka not human. and bella is being all repetitive saying i'm not afraid, show me who you are dick. and i'm thinking, sweet lets see what make up comes up with for his "scary true vampire monster face". he steps into the sunlight.... i'm actually sort of excited... he turns around... AND DAZZLES ME. yes, the author decided to make his skin GLITTER LIKE DIAMONDS. that's his TRUE MONSTER SELF. 

what.the.fuck.

so bella is all like "you're beautiful" and he's like "no i'm a killer!" and sulks away. at this point i almost turned it off but i thought, man this has to be the worst part, might as well tough it out. 

he introduces her to his vampire family with a reallly random baseball scene, and then we meet the villians of the movie who are real vampires, aka they actually eat humans (because the cullens are vegetarians, they only eat animals. fuck my life) and they kidnap bella so edward has to save her and blah blah zzzzzzzzz seriously, it takes sooooo long to finally get to the action at the end of the movie, they could have cut out so much. plus, the CGI department dropped the ball as much as the fucking wig department.

and then our pay off at the end is an awkward prom scene where bella is all like, ohmygod make me a vampire so i can be with you forever so he leans down to bite her and he's all like PSYCH HAHAHAHA NO WAY BITCH, YOU SHALL GROW OLD AND NASTY WHILE I REMAIN 17 AND PRETTY AND MAKE FUN OF YOUR SAGGY BOOBS. K LOVE YOU!!11!!!!1!!!

Verdict

this movie is so bad, and not in an awesome lets plays drinking games to this awesomly bad movie way. the only time i was invested in the movie was the 10 minutes they spent of bella trying to figure out what's wrong with this creepy pale dude because they step up the acting. but once she finds out it's all down hill. i'll give props to kirsten stewart (bella) and robert pattison (edward) for trying to make the cheesefest dialogue bearable. they do smoke up the screen, bitches have some extreme chemistry. the scene of their kiss was pretty hot, i mean the premise is hard to screw up. two hormonal teenagers who can't touch each other because the dude's vampire reflexes might go into overdrive and kill her? yeah pretty easy to make super sexy, and they pulled it off so bravo. but that's 3 minutes out of a fucking 2 hour fail fest.

sorry twilighters, won't be joining the bandwagon. now excuse me while i go reread harry potter.

p.s this whole movie needed more of jasper, one of the vampires from the cullen clan, edward's adoptive brother. dude is so weird looking and doesn't say anything, therefore i demand a spin off.

*** UPDATE

The actor who plays him Jackson Rathbone is also in an indie rock band called 100 monkeys. emo indie rocker kid in twilight series? epic win.

ta!

julia gulia