Nanaimo Wasps

This weekend we all piled into Byron's car to get on a ferry and attend Krystal and Wes's wedding in Nanaimo. And by we I mean myself, Byron, Alexis, Eric and Franz. Aka mini VFS class 107 reunion. Minus Franz. Who was just there for "the possible island adventures". As per usual, the island did not disappoint and left us again with a memorable weekend of a series of random events.

Byron said to be ready at 7 am for pick up which miraculously Franz and I obeyed. And we WEREN'T hungover. Thank Christ. We all were feeling good, despite the obvious sleepiness. The sun was shining, Byron had made a reservation for the ferry so we knew we were getting on and we were excited to see our old friends from VFS tie the knot and get drunk with them.

ACT 1 - cyclemania
As we near the entrance for Stanley Park to get to the Lion's Gate Bridge (we were leaving from the North Van ferry terminal Departure Bay), we see fucking cyclists everywhere and apparently the road is closed. So it's the annual cycle marathon to support Cops on bikes. And as we approach one of the traffic cops to ask where the detour is to get on the bridge he says "the bridge is closed". We're all, WTF. Seriously, LION'S GATE BRIDGE IS CLOSED FOR A CYCLE RACE? barhghghsdfherq4d3094d!!!!!!
So we start to high tail it for the other fucking bridge on the other side of town. Not before trying to get out of the maze that was downtown due to several other roads being closed. When we finally reached the other side of the water, we had 15 minutues to get to the ferry terminal or else our reservation would be invalid. Thinking we had plenty of time now that we had avoided random downtown cycle traffic, we hit our first traffic jam. At this point Byron looked like he was going to cut a bitch (he was driving). We got through the first one in about 10 minutes, so we now had 5 minutes. We hit ANOTHER one but thankfully escaped that one because the traffic girl who was letting cars through let us be the LAST car through before another wave of cyclists were coming off the bridge and blocking traffic. Thinking we were finally home free we got punk'd AGAIN by being stuck behind a car that was going like 40 km/h following the bikers who were ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY. That's right, only one lane was open on the highway. Like Christ, was the marathon going to Whistler? ugh. The car finally let us pass them and Byron guns it to the ferry, and I shit you not, 800m before the exit traffic comes to a halt because some bicyclist had injured himself so two ambulances were blocking both lanes. Alexis says "someone better have died", that's the point of frustration we had reached. Eric finally convinces Byron to act like an American and drive in the ditch to pass everyone. We made it to the ferry two minutes before our reservation was thrown out the window. On the ferry ride while enjoying the fresh air on the sun deck, Franz and I got attacked by an annoying wasp, the first of many.



ACT 2 - thy booze and wasps
We show up in Nanaimo which was looking gray and a tad chilly. We found our hotel and checked in. Eric had his own room but Byron, Franz, myself and Alexis were all in one with two double beds (that Byron insists were twins. They weren't). We all fell into the beds and started napping due the fact that we all work like crazy and if we don't get to sleep in on weekends to refuel we're pretty much zombies. Alexis insisted on her bed partner Franz to "spoon bitch!". Franz and I got up half an hour later because we both had the same craving: chhaaammmppaaaggnnneee. It was 11:15 am by then so we ventured out to downtown Nanaimo to find a liquor store. Observation: Nanaimo is not exciting. Sorry Wes and Krystal! We spent way too much time in the liquor store figuring out what we were craving beside champagne. Final purchases were two bottles of champers, a mickey of rum and a mickey of vodka. We got back and Byron and Alexis were still sleeping. We tried coaxing them out of bed but Alexis buried herself further into the blankets. It was 12:15 by then and that's when we discovered that the shuttle going to the wedding was leaving at 1:15, not 1:45 like we thought. This hightailed Alexis into the shower finally as Byron watched Franz and I do our usual when we get ready: ironing, drinking and being late.

We all made it downstairs in time and hoped onto the shuttle that took us to the lookout point by the ocean where the wedding would be. Like most guests, we all hadn't assumed it would be outside and most of us didn't have the warmest coats. By now the wind had picked up and we all prayed it wouldn't rain until the end of the ceremony. We also started getting attacked by random wasps. So many wasps. Very weird. The wedding started and Krystal looked GORGEOUS. Beautiful dress. It was all very adorable and loving, as weddings should be. We also found more 107ers, Tim Whyte who had forgotten his dress pants and was stuck wearing his suit jacket and dress shoes with khaki shorts (aka like a true assistant director would), and Brent with his lovely lady Melissa.



We took the bus back to the hotel and the whole time I was SERIOUSLY craving a rum and coke. So either I'm an alcoholic or you know... I'm an alcoholic. We got back and almost had 2 hours to kill before the reception started at the hotel so we cracked open the mickeys in our room and ordered room service. Nanaimo bar cheesecake and lemon meringue pie. Totally worth it. Byron went to the lounge to drink with Eric. He came back up at 5:30, half an hour after the reception started, to inform us that Wes and Krystal weren't there yet and we were doing Jagaer bombs in Eric's room. We head two floors down to Eric, who informs us that the honeymoon suite is like 3 doors down from him. We of course knock and Wes answers. We steal him for 2 seconds to do shots with us which was awesome. I then took the elevator down to the reception with both Kyrstal and Wes and their wedding party which was pretty cool actually. Felt VIP.

The reception started and we all quickly realized we were all drunker then most. Obviously, we were the film school table. Table number 12. The MC made an announcement asking friends and family to say something if they'd like, so I sauntered over and asked if I could make a short shout out from all of us at table 12. MC seemed excited cause not many people there knew about Wes and his film school days. Needless to say, after more drinks, dinner and all the emotional and perfect speeches made from the wedding party, this is when the MC says "any other people?" which was kind of awkward but he was starring at me so before I knew it I was putting my hand up and awkwardly walking up there realizing I had to make a speech on the spot instead of a "congrats from table 12" shout out I had originally planned..... so yeah.... spontaneous speech was 65% successful. I managed to only ramble under 5 minutes but apparently I said "film school" like 30 times. Could have gone worse though. And people clapped so yay? The rest of the night was spectacular with some great dancing and singing from Wes. Eric was also on a rampage to drink all of the Rye supply. We put a card on him in case we lost him.



Around 11 pm, after almost 10 hours of drinking, we had abused most of the free drinks tickets so there was only one thing left to do, CASINO TIME!!! Alexis, Byron and Eric went upstairs to go to sleep but Byron, myself, Brent and Melissa decided to go explore. We started walking to the casino with a stop at the local club after getting coaxed in by the bouncer/promotor (???). We came in and immediately felt everyone in the room starring at us in our dress clothes. I swear we were half expecting someone to be like "what are you city folk doing here?!". Byron ordered a round of shots which were blue and sticky sweet. Because I was hypnotized by watching a young gay fellow in a skin tight dress grinding with an old dude who had a beer belly, trucker hat and motorcycling shirt on, I wasn't watching when I slid my empty shot glass across the bar so it banged against two others and fell to the floor breaking. Byron smartly rounded us up and said "lets get the fuck outta here". We got to the casino where we quickly lost Melissa and Byron, who know how to gamble. Brent and I know how to look pretty and drink. So first we took pictures of myself pulling a Marilyn Monroe over a floor vent, but the security guy threatened to take my camera away cause no pictures were allowed. We went to the bar and our conversation went something like this:

Brent: okay what are we drinking?
Julia: hmm what are we drinking?
Worker: we don't serve alcohol here.
Brent and Julia: .....
Julia: then we shall be leaving.

We find Byron and inform him of our situation but he was winning at the blackjack table so he didn't wanna leave. Byron kept mumbling to the dealer either "adrian you're killing me" or "adrian I love you" to the indifferent stares of the older Nanaimo regulars who were wondering who the fuck let these kids in the casino. Byron kept handing me his winning chips to hold on to which the security guy did NOT appreciate. Apparently that's not allowed in Nanaimo. Byron pulled his second "lets get the fuck outta here" and grabbed his 100$ winnings. We went back to the hotel in the rain and found the last maybe 8 people dancing with Krystal and Wes in the reception hall so we hung out a bit with them until we finally decided to call it a night.



ACT 3 - it's the granola!
We all wake up to Byron's annoying as fuck alarm clock and the wake up call that Byron and I thought was a brilliant idea last night. It's about 8:30 am and we have to make the 10:30 am ferry. We all silently get our stuff together and head down to the lounge to wait for Eric. Who comes down hungover as shit and loudly declares "I don't want it!" after Alexis tries to give him his leftover bottle of rye he had from last night. We went to a coffee shop that was open for coffee and carbs. Alexis took it one step further and went healthy with yogurt and granola cup. We get to the ferry terminal and with Eric's head leaning out the window in the front with Byron, and myself, Franz and Alexis who was eating her granola in the back, we began to wait.

Eric: Alexis, there is a wasp beside your head.
Alexis: huh?
Julia: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Byron: AHHH!!!!!
Franz: AHHHHHHH!!!!
Eric: IT'S THE GRANOLA!!!!!

Everyone PILES out of the car in 0.2 seconds while Alexis remains seated and keeps eating. We managed to chase away the wasp and needless to say, we all sat in the car with the windows closed after that. Fucking wasps. Also Eric summed up the night with "apparently I was trying to drink my body weight in Crown Royal". And he did.

END OF STORY

stop dweedle dwaddling

so franz and I figured out that we hadn't had a dinner party in almost 3 months and panicked. And then quickly planned a summer themed one around a hamptons dinner party with southern inspired food. first thing we said?

"fabric, we need fabric"

"oh yes white fabric"

Obviously to build a garden party inspired tent in our living room. We then selected our invitees and created our menu which was as follows:

APPYS

cheese and bacon cornbreads

sausage and smoked gouda

MAINS

red snapper filets

roasted beets and potatoes

creole blackened shrimp

fresh salad

onion tarts

asparagus and green beens

DESSERT

chocolate mille-feuille with vanilla custard

pomegranate grantina

Three days before the event I started the patient task of making puff pastry from scratch. This was always something I knew I had to concur to fully call myself a good baker. Puff pastry is an art and science, and needs it's time to settle and glutenize. First step, whip up the dough and butter, both separate, roll em out and lay on top of each other. The next day I did my first folding of the two together.

Finally on friday I refolded the puff pastry 4 times (you can only do it once every 2 hours) while I chugged white wine and Franz began his onion tarts. I quickly made a pie dough for him so it could chill overnight while he began the caramelization of red onions. I won't even begin to mention how many onions he chopped but the process of cutting and cooking took till 1 am... so he's taking a break from onions.

we also should mention that we spent the first 2 hours after work on friday getting new plates and decorations, which we then ended up carrying all the way home in the muggy hot weather we have been having lately. On the day of, we woke up bright and early and headed to a fabric store, where as per usual I was slightly hungover from Brent's birthday the night before and not much use as Franz held up random frabrics. He had a better tent vision then me so we finally settled on one and got outta there before we began to mess up our schedule. We came home and did the brutal mistake of turning the TV on and napping while watching Jersey Shore. Needless to say we began grocery shopping close to 2 pm and got home at 4 pm and began a mad rush to decorate and prep all our food before guests arrived at 6 pm. I also invented another Julia-ism by saying "we need to stop dweedle dwaddling". Whatever that means.

I began by baking the pie dough for Franz's tarts and then we prepped the potatoes and beets, who looked gorgeous.

We also had to cook our onions tarts with our delicious cornbreads that we kind of just improvised and they turned out great! As well as the yummy, yummy onion tarts.

Our guests started arriving so we quickly put on Brigitte Bardot and I put out my spiked lemonade which was very refreshing and didn't make you realize how much booze was in there. Sugar, lemon juice, citrus vodka and citrus club soda. As Ina Garten would say, how good is that?

As guests mingled in our beautiful tent decor courtesy of Franz...

I prepped the snapper to bake with butter, dill, garlic, onion and olive oil.
I also decided 5 minutes before we sat down to quickly blacken my shrimp so they wouldn't be overcooked. I had dry rubbed them with typical creole spices of paprika, garlic and onion powder, cayenne pepper, thyme, oregano and kosher salt. Of course as soon as they hit the pan epic spicy fumes flew up in the air and made everyone cough. But man were they good! I had to finish the fry outside the window to stop choking my guests. Alexis kindly helped.

Dinner was beautiful and everything fit so well together, the flavors were excellent. Also the setting wasn't bad either. For a second, we truly did feel like millionaires in the Hamptons. Franz's center pieces also helped.

It was time for dessert and oh my god I was praying the whole time I was eating that my puff pastry was baking correctly in the oven. I had made the granita and custard earlier and they were chilling. As our guests enjoyed wine, I pulled out my puff pastry and almost burst into tears at how perfectly it had risen. Franz and I had a mini freak out in the kitchen of how awesome we were getting at this. I cut into the pastry and there were all those beautiful folded airy layers. Bliss!

We then used the custard to build some mille-feuilles which would be served with the granita. The combination of airy butter pastry, creamy custard and tart cool sorbet was to die for.


We enjoyed more wine and Richard's bourbon and after everyone had left and franz and I enjoyed one last drink under our make shift tent, the fading sounds of glen miller on the stereo, we really did feel like a cooling down summer night in a lush garden. All that was missing were fireflies. Epic success!

Ta!

Julia gulia

a love letter to herr schweinsteiger

I know dude, I know.

you are one bad ass player and you have to settle for 3rd place. again.

Schweinsteiger, or Shweinnie as those in your inner circle like to call you, I know the last thing you wanna hear is what a great achievement it is to place third in the world cup and that you and your team should be proud of what you have done this tournament. Everyone had already ruled out your team before you even played, with your coach bringing in all new and young players that had yet to play on an international level, and you, at the ripe age of 25 already perceived as a veteran suddenely looked upon as a leader with your fellow mates Podolski and Lahm after YOUR leader Ballack gets injured meerly weeks before the world cup started and has to sit out THE WHOLE TOURNAMENT.

But you don't want to hear that. Because you fought through all those challenges, and yet you are third. Again.

after your first triumphant game against australia, everyone sat up straighter and went, whoa germany is looking better than they have in years, that crazy coach Jogi might actually have made a brilliant plan with his young team. And Lahm taking over as captain and being an all around ridiculous player and instiling confidence in all of you. And then YOU, you started to come out as the best player on your team. Because you started ordering everyone around, telling those youngesters where they needed to be and passing beautiful unselfish passes to them so they can score. You gave Muller everything he needed to shine and emerge as the most talked about player at the world cup, and now with his five goals, a chance to win the golden boot award. You let klose strike when needed and let him be the head bitch in charge to shooting goals, you teamed up with Khedira brilliantly and ruled the field by barely letting the other team get possession. You were the last one fighting during the last 3 minutes of that awful spain game when everyone else had already succumbed to defeat. And when you slumped over in tears after the game, all of Germany cried with you, cause we know you wanted it so bad. And holy shit did you deserve it. You, klose, lahm, podolski, you all deserved this. You don't wanna settle for third place anymore. I get it. 2006 world cup, then losing in the final at 2008 euros, and now here.

So I won't try to list off your achievements to try and make you feel better. But i will say this, you took on as captain for your last game here at the world cup when poor lahm and all your other buddies had to sit it out due to illness, and you showed not only uruguay but all the frightened youngesters on your team who's boss. But you yet again played with no selfishness and helped them, showed them what it was like to play on your level because deep down you know just like the rest of us germans, that this team of young players will be MONSTERS come 2014. And we will get that title. And you will be there with them. Cause they look up to you.

So to you number 7, and the rest of this amazing, flawless, beautiful team, know this:

You were the most exciting team to watch this world cup. You broke the world's stereotype of german soccer by bringing on a diverse team with unique players and finally started showing a sense of humor and personalities. We've always been known as the efficient soccer machine that other countries would never THINK of rooting for. But this time around, the way you showed class and humbleness after each win. No drama when you were given unjustified fouls and cards (the world yelled as klose gets a red card, you guys don't even flinch and keep playing *applause*). The way you supported each other and fully showed just how close this team was with your epic bromances (I'm looking at you, ozil, podolski and schweinnie). True sportsmanship and team players. And with your coach looking like a GQ motherfucker on the side lines with his cardigans and scarves. Somewhere between murdering england and shutting them up with 3 more goals before they can whine about not getting that one goal (which they did deserve) and showing how dynamite you all play together instead of opting to act like superstars and not play TOGETHER (like some other teams...), we started rooting for you. And not just us germans, but even bitter england fans started going "well they did beat us... but they beat us well... and argentina... i hope they make the final now", but the press as well. suddenly you were on everyone's lists as not only the best team, but the most deserving. You will be remembered. And everyone is now waiting for euro 2012 to see you all back on the field because they want to cheer for you. You have made new fans with this team of yours. And we love you.

So chin up boys, you are young and just hitting the tip of the iceberg of your future epicness. Muller is 20. TWENTY. this bitch is gonna hit his full potential in the years to come. plus you got awesome players like ozil to mold as well, I love this bitch:

so don't worry mannschaft, it ain't over. we await your epicness with impatience. plus if you're still feeling bummed, just remember, we're waiting for you to come home.

thanks german national team, you made me root like crazy for you and soccer this year.

sincerely,

german pride beaming julia niendorf

EPIC PICTURES ARE EPIC.

poldi, muller and schweinnie bromance, I can watch this for hours and it still makes me laugh for some reason. Muller is all, please work out this lover's spat later, k thanx.

it's okay guys, podolski has a plan to cope with the loss.

muller knows what's up.

lahm, you adorable little man, i support you becoming captain full time.

just hug it out guys.

also, never forgot our wrath argentina.

relish the medal guys!

man love.

klose you incredible specimen, please come back next world up to get your actual record. you won't be THAT old.

that's right boys, show your bromance and those medals.

who says germans can't laugh at themselves?!

"k guyzz we're off to train for euro 2012, see ya!!!!!!!!!"

film and soccer

somebody remind me why i decided to shoot a movie? oh right it's my passion. you know you set off to make a short and you think, yeah it's gonna be tough but it's gonna be awesome. and don't get me wrong, it is awesome, but you forget just how time consuming it is, especially when you are still working full time and don't have the luxury of taking time off work.

either way, it's 4 days before shoot time and for those who don't know, cody bown and i finally got our butts in gear and got forest lawn production underway with it's first project, and our first collaboration that will make be on film. you can follow our production blog for all the adventures that have happened so far. cody and i were pretty much inseparable in film school, and spent many of our broke days lying on my couch at old 2905 eating popcorn and surviving on dr. pepper and cans of tuna. we wrote a lot of weird stuff during those days, mostly due to the fact that we listened to a lot off animal collective and watched todd solondz, larry clark and harmony korine movies. due to that, none of our ideas ever got picked to be made in film school. cody has always been my number one supporter of my writing and has encouraged me not to be afraid to put the weird out there. what was once something always in the back of my mind was unleashed after i met him, and since then i have never been afraid to write what i truly i want. it might not be everyone's cup of tea, but i'd rather write what i love then try to be anything else. it feels really great being reunited with him. i couldn't be more proud that we are doing this together, and to see him emerge as the great director i always knew he was.

but with our awesome producer alexis and our slowly emerging production-coordinator/co-producer - we haven't quite figured out what to credit him as yet - Byron Fudge, the puzzle pieces are almost in place.

the other thing that has been occupying my time is THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD CUP. it took my dad years to make me interested in soccer and somehow in the last 5 years i have become a full fledged fan. it doesn't help that the german national team is so awesome this year, that i have straight up trouble sleeping the night before they play cause i get so excited. to make this world cup even more awesome, our Director Of Photography that just flew in for our short is none other then our long lost VFS unofficial class 107 teammate James Schlittenhart, who if you didn't guess by his name, has German blood flowing through his veins and a soccer obsession that can't be tamed. Therefor having him here for the Sunday morning match between Germany and England was epic. On a side note, I would just like to say that I managed to screw up James's flight arrival times and ended up high tailing it out of the morrissey on saturday morning (it was 2 am) and cabbed it to the airport to pick him up. we ended up drinking at kits beach till daylight, which is what reunited german friends do.

alas though, on sunday morning at 5:45 am we drank some german beers, put on our german jerseys and waited for byron, drew and rachelle. once everyone arrived and we made poor rachelle chug beer (she's a trooper), we made our way by car to the one german restaurant in town. on our way we drove by an english pub with a line up of england fans outside, so James and I proceeded to climb half way out of the car windows and yell at them. cause we're those people. we then blasted guns n roses while byron looked at us perplexed, which prompted James to state the obvious "see this is why drinking at 6 am is awesome". when we reached the restaurant, it had a huge line up and it was 5 minutes before kick off and we didn't want to risk missing any second of the game, so we gunned it for Byron's apartment.

for those who didn't watch the match (for shame!!!), germany was brilliant, flawless, amazing, precise, etc. their assist goals were something to behold. did england get screwed over from that disallowed goal? of course. that goal was in and should have been counted for. but germany still kicked their asses 4-1 so end of story.

german national team, i love thee.

world's best defender and head bitch in charge philipp lahm thanks you for reading this post.

chunks.

awhile ago, i posted a blog about all my random plane adventures. this past monday, on june 21st 2010, i added another fun adventure to that bucket list.

i puked on the plane.

as in the barf bag, not in the privacy of the bathroom.

i was in calgary this weekend to drinks beers with my padre on father's day, and had to take the early flight back on monday morning to get back to work on time. aka 5 am wake up call (4 am vancouver time) for a 7:15 am flight.

i wish i could tell you the puking was caused by me being hungover and getting a case of motion sickness, but alas, it's way stupider then that. i'll be straight up honest, i forgot to take my birth control the night before so i doubled my dose to stay on track (yes, i'm aware that i am, as zach would say, a retard) fully knowing the extra hormones make me nauseous but i thought for some reason this time that would magically not happen. needless to say i woke feeling funny and it went downhill from there. i ate some toast and had a glass of OJ thinking it would settle my stomach (un-logic german logic, always eat something to feel better). by the time i was waiting to board i was working overtime to stop feeling nauseous.

i got on the plane and beelined for the bathroom. at this point i didn't think i was going to puke, i just wanted the wave of nausea to be over so i did the old splash cold water on the face and take a breather. in the awesomely ventilated small airplane bathroom. i heard the safety announcements come on so i knew i had to get back to my seat for take off. at this point i did feel better so i thought worst case if i feel shitty again, i'll go back to the bathroom in ten minutes once we are in the air. so i went back, buckled up, pointed the little AC fan to my face and tried to relax.

but then, that feeling, that horrible, horrible feeling where you know no matter what happens, IT'S COMING UP AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. i had maybe 2 minutes, MAX before i wouldn't be able to hold it down anymore. i quickly surveyed my surroundings and realized we are in the most awkward moment of the flight for me to do this.

the flight attendants are seated and buckled up, everyone has their ipods/seat tv/computers turned off for this brief moment where we all wait to feel to force of the airplane take off. but that beautiful moment of silence before it happens.

this is when i decided to puke.

i looked over at my unassuming seat partner, i tap him on the shoulder.

me: "excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, I just wanted to warn you that I am having a wave of nausea and I think I'm going to vomit, so sorry in advance"

him: "oh... okay... do you have the bag in your seat?"

and at that moment, i grabbed the famous barf bag that i have starred at for the almost 19 years that i have been flying and never had to use, and puked. only 2 hefty hurls and that was it. i discreetly sealed the bag and put it under my seat. and then, the plane did his turbo feel the force thing down the runway and we were off.

most.embarrassing.thing.ever

never in my life, did i think i would be one of those awkward people who puke in the barf bags. we hate those people.

at least the guy beside me reassured me that "you were very polite, very discreet". thank you monday morning business man. thank you.

and to further brighten the mood, my favorite bit about airplanes and airports, jerry seinfeld. so painfully accurate if you fly a lot. the first time i heard this i pissed myself laughing.

but he's mysterious.

i recently discovered something that i knew i always did subconsciously but never openly admitted it to myself.

i am obsessed with guitarists.

now me and 50 million other 14 year old girls can say the same thing, with our love of mysterious boys who are tall with dark hair and look down to the ground and write the most sensitive songs but they will never see the light of day cause they're not the star so they'll just have to play out their emotions through a distraught guitar solo.

guitarists: not as cocky and pretentious as the lead singer, not as weird and moody as the bassist, and not as laid-back and naive as the drummer. they are always the perfect amount of selfish, depressed and self-involved for them to break your heart.

i've dated a few musicians but never a full fledged lead guitarist. too dangerous. i also vowed to myself to just stay clear of musicians in general. they always look so good, but man are they a pain in the butt to fall for. am i right girls? you've been there.

anyway, despite all that, boy do i love guitarists. and no matter what concert i go to, my eyes immediately fall to the side of the stage where the guitarist is set up and they usually don't wander anywhere else. i have such a strange fascination with them. i wait for the little moments where they finally look at the crowd and smile, the moments where they sing (guitarists with underrated backing vocals, be still my heart), how many guitar switches they do, everything is interesting to me. the lead singer or anyone else in the band can never entertain me as much as the guitarist.

weird? maybe? yes? whatever.

the last concert i went to, the temper tramp (check em' out live if you get the chance, balls to the wall amazing) my habit didn't betray me. i flew right to our lead guitarist who did not disappoint. even my concert going companion, caely-ann, commented on him: "he's like a more bad ass version of Frodo". indeed he was. and of course the next morning at work, i was right on their website, looking up his bio and pictures to learn more about my new guitarist friend.

Here is a glimpse of some of the guitarists who have stuck with me till this day who i have had the pleasure of seeing live.

jamie hince.

this bitch. this motherfucker right here. pardon my language but this guy is the epitome of rock and roll guitarist. he swaggers on stage with numerous scarves and suggestively looks at his band mate and lead singer (a female) like she's a pice of steak and he's gonna do naughty things to her later. he uses his chocolate barry white voice to sing back up when he feels like it and plays his guitar without much thought, but damn does it sound good. oh and like any rock guitarist should be doing, he's banging a super model, Miss Kate Moss. Jamie Hince, i salute you. and come back to vancouver soon so i can see you shake your skinny ass again.

tom linton

i've always "liked" jimmy eat world. in the sense that i had one of their albums and listened to it on occasion, but when my friend byron invited me to their concert couple years back i was converted to full fledged fan. and one of those reasons being because of mr. lifton. what a great presence onstage. he has a whole aura of loyal faithful bandmate going on, with a touch of but i could be an asshole if you want me to be. awesome player, awesome attitude and most of all, he tapped into one of my weaknesses, a beautiful backing voice. strong and sometimes in my opinion, overshadowing the deeply talented frontman, jim adkins.

dave genn

i can write a whole blog about this incredibly talented individual but i won't. he is my favorite. of all time. words can not describe thy. why him? who knows. but one blistering hot and humid ottawa summer day matthew good band was playing bluesfest (why was the biggest canadian rock band at the time playing a blues festival? still a mystery) and as my friend jen and i waited around for hours and hours for the show to start, complete with random thunder shower where we all got soaked and muddy and standing through the worst.opening.band.of.all.time, they finally hit the stage. and as i was 3 rows back from the stage on the right, i was standing right in front of dave genn. who proceeded to blow my mind. granted i was 15 and this was only my like third live show but something about the way he handled his gibson les paul standard and played around with his 20 pedal set up made my skin tingle. after that concert, i finally picked up the acoustic guitar i had been given for free a year ago and finally took lessons. my teenage years were spent obsessing over him. i scrutinized his every solo and played them over and over. when he left matthew good band, i cried. when he started playing with holly mcnarland live i ran to the calgary stampede to see him. i waited backstage and got him to sign my ticket, he asked me my name and i said julia, to which he replied was his favorite song. i was so excited to be standing in front of my guitar god's presence that i blanked out to what song he was talking about. he tells me, "from the beatles, you know?". i melt into a pile of goo like Amelie, of course. of course i know. IDIOT. i let my obsession die down a bit after i graduated high school. although when i would hear through the grape vine what indie band he was helping produce, i would still go check em' out. finally, years later at the age of 22, caely-ann and i went to the commodore to go see 54-40. i knew that dave had joined the band. i told myself i was gonna go enjoy the night and see a good old canadian rock band, this wasn't about dave. but who was i kidding, i ran to the right part of the stage as soon as i got there and ogled his pedal set up. and out he came and i realized he would always, always be my favorite guitarist. to the point where recently, at the age of 24, my heart skipped a beat at a film premiere where i learned that one of the people involved with the film was his brother James Genn, a director/writer. And although we've lived in the same city for 5 years now, i've yet to see him anywhere but the stage. and that's just the way i like it. dave genn, don't ever change.

ta!

julia gulia

2 hour lunch break

holla!

for those who don't know, i have a knack for finding websites to waste my time. i'm passing these on, so you as well young grasshoper, will have the tools to waste time at work while you wait for your day to end. or any other occasion.

First: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

if you haven't discovered this yet, you are in for a treat. basically people send in their funniest/oddest text messages. Some highlights:

(612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn

(952): what?
(612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

(540): it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.

(512): watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos

(203): i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
(1-203): it's 1 pm.

(757): I understand Curling. That high.

(407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

(215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

(706): Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

(519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

(757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

(330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

(410): can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
(443): wasted?
(410): im pocohantasssss

(570): why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
(1-570): you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

Second: http://fuckyeahslightlyamusing.tumblr.com/

random pictures that may or may not make you laugh. i started reading this blog and it's stupid but then i find myself chuckling at some of the pics and next thing you know i'm on page 20. ugh.

some gems:

Third: http://www.lamebook.com/

People being stupid on facebook. enough said.